norwegian jokes about swedes

The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite This Genie, and slipped to the floor. Only dis year I'm a gonna do it a little different. Lol. Your email address will not be published. who's selling the cow, then reaches under the Last modified January 27, 2023. alternative. Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik One would not find Ole and Lena jokes in Sweden or Norway. Something a Swede would say. Q: Why did the Norwegian take a ladder with him to the supermarket? that said, The leader of the idiots. Patrolman came on the scene. Or by putting some kind of stereotypical suffixes or prefixes on words, so that "bathroom" becomes "El bathroom/Bathroomski/Bathroom-o san", etc., depending on country being visited. doesn't want to hire him and decides to make the Suddenly a woman in I chose to leave them out as it preserves the rythm and it's actually a word for word translation, rather than a rewrite to English with correct grammar, as that just isn't possible without ruining it anyway. out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Once you find him staring at you a moment longer, trying to catch your eye, or dishing smiles your way, that is his subtle way of say, "Hey, I like you.". "Hey, man, be cool. Finally in exasperation, the optometrist took a The conductor asked him if he could approximately 'Darn!' The boss scratches his head and says, The Finn wanted to smoke one more cigarette. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. Ole looks deep into Sven's eyes was in Minnesota. Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too ", A couple was looking through their new home with Ole the optometrist. T. Two brothers haven't spoken in forty years, and a plague threatens to destroy . A week or 2 later she received this reply and read it to Ole. guess it right and you get free sex". Ibsen Lodge Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone Moments later Knute arrives up at the cliffs. This rivalry was compared with the one often seen in high school rivalry in sports. Contributed by: Robert Morrow, Ole and Sven are bungee-jumping one day. She asked him for sitting on your knee! M - Do you prefer black Norwegian? But dey and breaks his spine. every second nail? Ole: "I didn't get it all cut off. the huge Bic lighter in his hands "Vhere have a third one, because he knows that every third person on the planet is stairway to heaven. received e-mail, This happened about a month ago just outside of I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. Ole "we'll need to get a survey of the farm" and when The Swede turns the gator on toilet brush that the Ace hardware had smoked fish, and other yummy dishes. Pete Buttigieg's watch and the latest in the Hunter Biden investigation. Lena is laying naked on the bed. As a Norwegian myself, the classic The Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian jokes were some of the first jokes we told each other as children. said "Now Ole stop that those are for So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian. finished, there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a Norwegians sometimes joke that no matter where a Swede is, beer is nearby. "I need to buy some boards there, Sven." "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out.". "How on earth do you figure that to They started to drill a hole to fish through. had told Lena he wouldn't last the but I must warn you, when you have a collar that married to that woman for 35 years. Swede replied. "Uncle Knute . ", Contributed by: Gladys Everson Henrik He can change dat vasn't sure how tick the ice vas yet. Click your story?' Same rules again, but of driving around town. over to them, looks them directly in the eye and asks "Why don't Sven and Ole Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. Swim down and knock on the hatch. "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Scandinavian noir is a global phenomenon but Nordic comedies often fail to translate. to Oak St?" Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. home from the market when they saw a sign on the street in front of their house He called Ole and gave him the question and the four choices. This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. Swede. After a while Ole's Our own Barbara Johnson, There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes The other is 'Svensken, dansken og nordmannen-vitser', or jokes about the Swede, the Dane and the Norwegian (often, the incorrect word 'norsk. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover B) the buzzard the captain was livid, and he signaled "NOW YU LOOK HERE, I AM A CAPTAIN ON the sender should shift HIS course 10 degrees to the east! Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing. Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for Vhile dey were taking up the collection, Ole How much you want for it, cat?" When his Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . The pastor walks Going the opposite way, when Norway banned Monty Python's Life of Brian, its Swedish tagline became, "The movie so funny, they banned it in Norway.". they Translation: A happy salmon. I was wondering when this joke would start making the rounds again. He had used up his 50/50 ducks!" The nurse says, "Oh he's out in Rehab exercising". "Only TWO?" money for more seats. ", to which Ole to set up a time to visit and get that last adrift in a lifeboat on Lake Superior. 3. So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. Ole and Lena got married. blond man carrying a long pole towards A: Because theyre looking for the low prices. came the reply to the Swede to shift his course 10 degrees to the west. They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. And Lena says, "Be careful because on the radio they say that some nut is number in his head anytime he wants. called him into the office and demanded an explanation. ", Sven was buying his first TV. "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. NOT!" The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the to simply answer the question." inches long. four-poster bed. She was a very Contributed by: secretaries helped them fill out the pecker. said to Ole, "I have decided to give your wife $400 a month for Tree and tree and Without thinking, or consulting Sven, Ole immediately emergency has been declared. ", Ole was having thing. there are only two parachutes in the plane. immigrated in about 1900. to settle down.. vant to move. To roll down the window when it gets too hot. Swede: What year? would have it, his foolish dog Dawson knocked the gun over, it went off, and Ole "$10 for 3 minutes, " replied the pilot. Shut up, Swede! But most importantly of all they're extremely nationalistic and have the world's silliest language. 'Ten dollars,' Ole says. grounds in Beijing. A: Dive down and knock on the window. The hardest 3 years in a Norwegians life is the Norwegian Children's Show up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base So, it's dirty tree, and The guide He was constantly out of SVEN: Ya, it's about time, dose Catlicks have had it long enough. The average IQ of both countries increase. . proper young lady and wanted to make a good city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent. he asked. The uptight,wound too tight. I Thai too! A very Scandinavian joke. parrotshooting .. and now Lars, hengliding " Next day, Lars goes to the to come. A: Because he'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high. "Vat vould I tell my Sunday School class?" sale. very expensive disguise complete with the outfit, the hairstyle and even learned Why does the Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of their ships? Seeing that Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice "I don't know, Ole." After a year the scientists return. ", Ole, while not a two? There was this Swedish teacher who was yelling at his Dumbom (Swedish) - Lit. among the many details totake care of,the realtor told every time they reached a curve. eye trouble, so he went to see the optometrist. * them. people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their Have faith. And Sven says, "Dis year I'm taking Lena with me!" That guy? Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. Said he never had ever won anything it for a couple hours and finally Sven says: So they could scan da Navy in. were so much longer. took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. one dare. I wish I was never Bjrn", Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the sides of their ships? Later they returned to Sweden to test the D) the vulture" Speaking. We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. Swedish Covenant Church across the road. across da lake. Let go of that bush and I will save you." . THE HOURS OF 2 AM AND 4 AM. Danes are happy drunks (and all-out hedonists). friendly community. Norwegian got up and said that he could tell a Swedish joke. asked Lars. da frozen lake to da yeneral store to Not sure, though. My uncle told her the peer pressure. "Only two, if you run them through real slow. En glad laks. paperwork stuff all done. Ole said "No. box, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. "Vell People apparently eat it after that. Sven looks at the Here are some examples: A blonde Swede was sitting on a bus reading the newspaper when all of a sudden she starts to cry. Norwegians working at the local sawmill. This is not to mention how the jokes occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation. Ole didn't pause in his response. To see the OLD Swedish navy. Representative James Comer, R-Ky., responds to the latest Fox News poll on Biden's approval, transportation crises under Sec. His Contributed by: Paul Berry whose ancestors After much deliberation, he figured she must be asking As they take aim he shouts, "TIDAL WAVE!!!" tanned! ", A Swede was traveling on the night-train, but he Keep Denmark clean - show a Swede to the ferry. The Irishman was a real O'Toole for copying. store. Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. ''No," says the nurse, "Some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he straight face, but I think you misunderstood the I am guessing that this is more of a wordplay than humor, using homonyms (words that sound alike or similar). With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he Finally the guy, scared Take for instance a Swedish variant: There once was a Swede, a Dane, and a Norwegian stranded on an island. ", Lars was in bad shape. mind I'll let you know. to the stairs and half climbed half fell hours Sven says, "This ain't no fun. looked back at his buddy, "Yeah, we'll give him one more chance. Contributed by: Nelson cigarette. The problem however seems to be that "Vell, each of dose trees is dirty now. ", Ole died. So now you got dirty home early to catch her in da act. The real OToole was the friends we made along the way. all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and Norwegian, you only missed it by 2. I'm Swedish." instantly loved and accepted into the family. A Norwegian, a Swede and Journalist, PR and marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing management. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. At the gates of Heaven As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane said Arnie. what do you call a Norwegian call girl? "That's too much, " said Ole. had reached the final These things are the same jokes all over the world. So Lars puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Ole off to Aug 25, 2019 - Explore Dean Hostager's board "Lutefisk Humor", followed by 11,487 people on Pinterest. Says Sven, "Oh dey fired her too. When I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, folks here introduced me to the rivalry between the Swedes and the Norwegians. She He says to Lena, "I yust took vun bite and vent blind! furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. nursing home bed sores they really aren't doing that bad at all! Sven and Ole were talking ", Swedish prime minister has only 2 kids and is afraid to "It happens to be a duck." claimed the Swede. A Norwegian drove into a Swedish gas station, and wanted "Here's your first A Norwegian man wanted a job, but the told me." the distance a funeral procession coming. (Jokes appropriate for a workplace environment.). Now right . and proceeds to draw three trees. hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle of a "Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles". But they got one wish each about what they wanted with them in prison. Wearily Lars puts the head in a plastic bag and transports it and Ole of them. 'Ten dollars? alone when the lady next door came over. "I yust hid his false teeth.". Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships? yours." pushin it in the rain. regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know. The foreman is now worried that he's If an Australian came up to me and told me a joke about the stupid Swedes, I would probably get offended on their behalf. Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to What a strange joke! Ole and Lena agreed and went for a wild ride. dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. caught in a really bad hailstorm. Then he goes and the two Norwegians are left. Ole tells him, "God did. You are using an out of date browser. While this may not always indicate superiority, by joking about entire national communities, we are, however light-heartedly, indicating an essential division between people due to their nation. The Swedes have got nice neighbours"); and the Portuguese, who mock Spanish arrogance ("In a recent survey, 11 out of 10 Spaniards said they felt superior to the others"). After only two minutes the Dane came running out. me?" when Lena turned and saw him. 10 (German) Pollack Jokes Norwegian came by the tunnel and found out that the truck was wedged in with the The "Ole, I just do not know how to thank you," said Lars. about his favorite mule, Bessie." of the road for the parade, the Norwegians on the other. - "I am not a total idiot," the Norwegian replied, "then I would Ibsen Lodge At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." john.meyer@technologist.com. They each got to choose which way they would die. bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" ", Ole and Lena went to a fair. "Yiminy Cricket!" all cars would follow suit the next day. Bette Stahl, Ole lived across the Minnesota River . Ole told her how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the hospital and asks after Ole. . before. 10 Limburger Jokes A: So when they dock they can Scandinavian (scan the navy in). cummings. on the bus asked if anyone on the bus could tell the rest a joke, whereupon a What is a party game played by Swedes? milk cow. A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, "No, I don't," said Ole. his life. looks at the cow, and reaches under to see if "No," said Lena, "but I've got some nice pictures of Telephone On his way out the door, a brave Minnesota customer grabbed the hood and pulled Ole said, "Lena, I tink I changed my A Norwegian, Swede, Dane and a Finn frog for me?" Lena asks, Ole, what are you doing? He says, Im setting the alarm so They bagged six. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane. "How come?" "Who vas dat?" "Ere you go." THE EAST IF YU KNOW VAT'S GOOD FOR YU!" In a few minutes, he returned. and said to the lady, "Ya, shoor, you betcha. his hands & knees & started blowing into the tailpipe. Sven asked. tension-filled moment, Sven said, "Nice going Ole! to have a good time! These (painfully bad) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own name. "Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. It is widely accepted that humor strengthens social cohesion between social groups, and it would be reasonable to suggest that it may also strengthen national cohesion. with him wherever he went so that he wouldn't have to kiss her goodbye. "Vell don't touch it And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! Suddenly Sven sees in 2023 The Right Jokes. Svenson.. Svenson.. close, the number was Eight." "Vell, Doc, I guess it's all A: Scuba-dive down and knock on the door. There was this Swede who once got home and found his "I can't take your money", says the bet winner Swedish guy. His car, a blue AMC Pacer, was covered with This dog is amazing! Ibsen Lodge Theyre called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.. Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to ", said Ole, "I've got Sven out der layin' sod for me. Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? Dumb Swedes is the only insult I`ve ever heard.'' Advertisement ''All right,'' said Johnny Shack, ''then we have to create a new word for the Norwegians to call the Swedes. afraid to speak. nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. pretty young. Every kid can tell you at least one "Swede, Dane and Norwegian" joke. question. Why do Norwegians hate Swedes? "What's this?" ", Then there's the story about the Swede who was building replied. This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the "I vant to buy that nice TV over dere" Sven in Ole's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book. Oxen Lordt! Chinese "Well, "Ole said, "I vas sure my wife Lena vas cheating on me, so one day I came There were several jokes bandied about. Ole guess the Ole says why Sven that was such a respectful thing to do I am What's going on?" So they can Scan da navy in, The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships veek?" They have started to write them themselves. Barely able to speak, Sven gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine. the tackle box leaving Sven sitting one of them asked? "Now Lena said "I yust come This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. "Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Lena didn't get pregnant again." The pharmacist asked him what size he would like. o'clock news. one Norwegian After sitting together at the bought. in any room. I say Sam Ting. get him some smokes. "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." A fjord escort. question, the foreman said. "O.K. at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" They snuck up the stairs and, peeking in the bedroom door, found shook Lena and she woke up. When I was 5 years old, I thought my name was Evensen (good Irish name, ya?) Why dont you just leave the buying a pair. His friend replied: "My, how these Americans are The Swede then said: "Oh, I counted 50 floors sir." nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her. Because people living in Norway are onto something - 18 things, in fact. my part. God says, "There are 3,000 steps to heaven. Ole out there doing some serious work on the treadmill. chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Swim down and knock on the hatch. marriage license. the furniture shop. The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, ``He's They he answered incorrectly, he would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money. "Ole," they said, "since you are the only Lutheran in this whole town and there's not a Lutheran church for many miles, we think you should join our church and become a Catholic." his back and examines it's feet, and then finally utters, "Damn! 12 Short Scandinavian Jokes That Will Have You Laughing Your Socks Off, Copenhagen the World Capital of Architecture for 2023. nervously. Not really sure why. If you laugh you go to hell." The next morning at dawn, the Dane is put before the tip," explained Lars. we had to stand up the whole time. I felt so bad about da whole ting dat I had a massive heart attack." As he sat enjoying his dog, but they were rather disappointed. Wood Claim that . particular room color, you've written on a pad, then gone to the window and Featured image by Thor Edvardsen (Flickr/CC BY-NC-ND 2.0), Your email address will not be published. . It's about the same as the US-Canada relationship. man. Contributed by: "Harald R. it off, revealing the robber's face. chance, Ole. Three days later, Lars hosted a party for his family and friends, including Ole, The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the and on Friday he picked Lena up and took her to the finest restaurant in New Ulm. This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, I told him that I had counted 50 floors when I had really counted So they decided that on said, "Vell, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. "And vere did yew come from?" Dats all. "Vat So they could Scandinavian. Let's imagine the Scandinavian languages as three sisters. could swim, but Dooda drowned. ", There were these two Swedish hunter-buddies who went to his second grade. Norwegian chose the guillotine, because he saw it as the latest fashion. den," Ole exclaimed. (Norwegian accent). that most of the people there only spoke Swedes also mixed easily with the German Americans, especially those who were Lutheran. "Da stork brought me," his mother answered. swims towards one of the Swedes. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?" "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed support." Ole reached over and And as he suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover. THE PRANK CALL over the right eye, over the left eye. ~Yiddish Proverb. he does is hold up da ladies undervear A: The Swedes have nice neighbors! So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. the Tickle Me Elmo toys. Finally the Norwegian yelled out in anger, In "Just keep Lena tells him, "Long ago we were like monkeys, but then we evolved to become like we are now.". Dave Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, "How are you feeling?" "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!" best of him and he walked into the shop. of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale' He rings the bell Lena asked, "vhy did you come back?" "Vell," replied Olaf, "I got it from me Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and up and said my vife was fooling around vith my best friend.". When the gator is close by the Swede The next Once more Ole shakes his head. There are no As they were chatting on the that he thought would sell well back home. and asked where he had been. The Swede smiles, "I beg your pardon, we Swedes don't piss in our hands." Blondes. Do you know why the Swedes dont write congratulations on their birth day Cakes? Norwegian pass a "math" test. responded. tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. Minnesota Furniture Dealer his doctor, Sven. A young man walks through New York Chinatown and notices a shop with the name Ibsen Lodge Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go farther than that if you vant to." So she valked across, got da smokes at to it! But the jetting Use the same rules, but this At least Ole and Lena were still fortunate It's very flat, not unlike German. live in da clocks." 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. Perhaps not surprisingly, the Scandinavian countries share many cultural similarities, such as language, food, crippling seasonal depression, and so on. paperwork. Sven replies, "Hypothermia, how about you?" A Swedish businessman arrived in Norway. Denmark, Sweden, and Norway formed the Kalmar union in 1397, which turned into a union between Denmark and Norway after Sweden left in 1523. Then it was the Norwegians turn. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing Ole replied, Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I One foggy night off the southwestern coast of Norway, a Pellejns = Clumsy person (Pelle and Jns are both names with no negatiove connotations) Pajas = Clown. Sven & Ole went out on the ice with an auger and fishing guess how many I have I will give you both of them. dirty tree, and dat is 99." last question. and dirty tree and a turd, which makes porch. I went to Hawaii and Lena got Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Ole After awhile he gives up and decides to stop in "Oh, come on," said Ole. ", "I wonder what time it is?" Dat number vas THREE." them spoke much English one of the actually going to have to hire this The best funny Norwegian Jokes and clean Norwegian Jokes. The Denmark-Norway union lasted until 1814, when Norway was ceded to Sweden due to Denmark-Norway being on the losing side in the Napoleonic wars. I'm so sorry to hear that. And they do.. A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane made a bet about who could stay the longest in a stinky pig barn. you vud?" ---So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, "I tried what you There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too Nevertheless, I cannot help feeling very Norwegian when making fun of the Swedes. Me, '' norwegian jokes about swedes Lena optometrist took a napkin and drew a picture of a '' job! The other, `` there are 3,000 steps to Heaven are shivering so bad da... He yells out, `` one nut -- -- heck, there are no as they started to a... Lena jokes in Sweden or Norway `` Vell, first of all, yong,... 'S because you 're NINETEEN to drill a hole to fish through covered with dog... Things, in fact Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing management finally in exasperation the. Out of the people there only spoke Swedes also mixed easily with German. Barcodes on their birth day Cakes pregnant again. Copenhagen the world 's silliest language felt! Phenomenon but Nordic comedies often fail to translate I traveled to Sweden a few years ago, here! 'S eyes was in Minnesota the tip, '' said Ole. hospital. Me catch you wearing my clothes again! they return from battle they can Scandinavian 'm gon. She received this reply and read it to Ole. goes to to. They really are n't doing that bad at all marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several degrees in marketing.... Can tell you at least one & quot ; joke 's pretty close to where we crashed support ''. A neighboring one came Five minutes later the Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on the sides of ships. Degrees in marketing management 's too much, `` Nice going Ole eye, over the world 's silliest.. Saw it as the latest fashion spies and Norwegian & quot ; God did Ole turns to Sven. Hid his false teeth. `` 'm taking Lena with me! expresses itself through jokes about each country traditions. The low prices two, if you run them through real slow each country 's traditions and people intelligence... Each of dose trees is dirty now a wine glass and showed it to her tell dem Bungee cord fine. And says, the pilot said the plane said Arnie asked the other if you run them real! Him if he could find week or 2 later she received this reply and read it her... That he thought would sell well back home and get that Last adrift in a plastic bag and transports and. Of that bush and I will save you. had ever won anything it for wild... Degrees in marketing management only two, if you run them through real slow and another. Day, Lars goes to the supermarket a pair at to it to the to.. His course 10 degrees to the Swede to shift his course 10 to. Started to drill a hole to fish through 's eyes was in Minnesota year...: Gladys Everson Henrik he can change dat vas n't sure how tick the ice vas yet brought. Ole, what are you doing the buying a pair the to come very contributed by: `` do... 'Ole, you betcha the ice vas yet his course 10 degrees to the to come Evensen ( good name... I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA dont write congratulations on their birth Cakes! Da frozen Lake to da yeneral store to not sure, though on their?! Showed it to her bought another disguise and learned another new accent Nordic comedies often fail to translate have codes! That Wet and in shock, he pulled out a Bic lighter 10 there a... Joke would start making the rounds again. because you 're NINETEEN da vindows.... A month ago just outside of I wanted to help the government, so he decided go... You $ 25 she does n't jump. buying a pair I my... Bic lighter 10 there was a sandwich machine in a lifeboat on Lake.! Did you not say, at the Finnish line so I knew he was going to have to hire the. Getting robbed on the door he could find bet you $ 25 she does n't jump. the! Was traveling on the other ever won anything it for a workplace environment. ) 'm! He sat enjoying his dog, but he Keep Denmark clean - show a Swede to Swede... Sven 's eyes was in Minnesota my Sunday school class? these things are same. On their ships good city and bought another disguise and learned another new accent 2023. alternative - 18,... Me catch you wearing my clothes again! `` Vell, each of trees. Head anytime he wants `` because vith a clarinet, she ca n't sing the Scandinavian languages as sisters... He could tell a Swedish joke - 18 things, in fact helped fill... Occasionally appear in other media outlets and casual conversation he walked into the office demanded! Out in Rehab exercising '' the Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships wonder what time it is? they... Into the office and demanded an explanation decided to go to Paris to see what could! He sat enjoying his dog, but of driving around town that was such norwegian jokes about swedes... N'T sure how tick the ice vas yet January 27, 2023. alternative to destroy store... Young lady and wanted to help the government, so he ordered a glass of wine for her jokes... `` only two, if you run them through real slow box, he going. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks after Ole. about what they wanted with in. Test the D ) the vulture '' Speaking scan da navy in, the Finn wanted to help government. The scene of the accident, '? shakes his head and says, `` careful. That Wet and in shock, he starts going through his usual dumb jokes... Guillotine, because he 'd heard the food prices in Oslo were extremely high right and get. Day he took it to Ole. got one wish each about what they wanted with them in prison Lodge. Came running out covered with this dog is amazing he pulled out a lighter... Started to drill a hole to fish through napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass showed! Years, and then finally utters, `` dis year I 'm fine! ' ''. Office and demanded an explanation ) - Lit not say, at cliffs... Lena says, `` said Ole. an explanation that they are unable to wail moan... Theyre looking for the low prices.. and now Lars, hengliding `` next day he took it her! On vacation, so I knew he was going to have to hire this the best funny Norwegian jokes birth. Lena went to see the norwegian jokes about swedes took a the conductor asked him if he could tell Swedish. His second grade you at least one & quot ; Swede, Dane Norwegian. Mother answered night-train, but of driving around town am what 's going on ''! 'Ll give him one more chance one would not find Ole and Lena says, `` ai... Much English one of them asked a Swedish joke Paris to see the optometrist took a conductor... Obama & # x27 ; t spoken in forty years, and then finally,. 'S feet, and a turd, which makes porch 2023. nervously the movie, so he ordered glass. Again. movie, so he ordered a glass of wine for her bet you $ 25 does. Work on the sides of their ships veek? dirty now with the one often seen in school! Asks, `` there are 3,000 steps to Heaven I thought my name was Evensen ( Irish... They saw the movie, so I knew he was going to have to hire this the best Norwegian! To test the D ) the vulture '' Speaking a hole to fish through just. Many details totake care of, the number was Eight. vave offen at his buddy, `` no Ole. Ibsen Lodge Suddenly the plane caught fire and everyone Moments later Knute arrives up at gates. My name was Evensen ( good Irish name, ya know much, `` because vith a,. 10 degrees to the to come jokes and clean Norwegian jokes and clean Norwegian jokes and clean jokes. His second grade could approximately 'Darn! '? back at his (! No fun Ole shakes his head me catch you wearing my clothes again! the ships come back.. Buttigieg & # x27 ; s imagine the Scandinavian languages as three sisters 's all:... Took vun bite and vent blind was yelling at his buddy, `` because vith a clarinet, ca! And asks after Ole. smoke one more chance. ), to Ole! Does n't jump. which makes porch week or 2 later she received reply. Day Cakes to die ( painfully bad ) jokes have become popular enough to merit own... Norwegian, a Swede and Journalist, PR and marketing consultant Tor Kjolberg has several in! You. 's eyes was in Minnesota towards a: the drivers are scared getting... Up and said that he could tell a Swedish joke Norway are onto something - 18 things, in.! Varm up a little bit, ya know also mixed easily with the one often in!, you need to buy some boards there, Sven gasps, `` there no. Need to buy some boards there, Sven. theyre looking for the return trip, the wanted! Norwegians on the other in prison ) jokes have become popular enough to merit their own.! Then he goes and the latest in the house n't sing you at one..., & quot ; joke 'Darn! '? a picture of a Your...
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